How did the Sig-Ep, who accused Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli and then-teammate Garrett Embry of stealing a laptop and other items from the frat house in January, identify the culprits so quickly? a) He's a living, breathing person in Eugene, Ore., and thus found the Ducks' star QB "easily recognizable," and b) According to his 911 call following the theft, "I was walking up the stairs and they were walking down the stairs with my possessions." It's not that hard, really:

Yeah, I'd say an on-the-scene ID was a good sign they were never going to get away with anything better than a couple of guilty pleas.

Congratulations, too, to Mr. Wolfard for resisting the urge to call Masoli and Embry "hoodrats" or otherwise swearing profusely while his friends were freaking out in the background. (Overwhelmed by youthful disillusion, probably. Say it ain't so, Masoli ...) Now if he can just get his fellow students to stop giving him a hard time for helping put the team's best player on ice for what was shaping up as the biggest season in school history, he can sleep easy again.